I stayed pretty quiet yesterday because I had a lot of mixed emotions surrounding Kobe’s death. This incident is horrific and my opinion doesn’t matter in the scheme of things. I did not want to disrespect what everyone felt yesterday and how they most likely feel today and will feel for days to come. Everyone’s… Continue reading Why Kobe Bryant’s death is complicated for sexual assault survivors
I sometimes face guilt when I reflect on some decisions I have made in order to create a life that will protect my sobriety. What comes to mind is the boundaries that I have had to set with people that I love. Setting strong and long lasting boundaries is probably one of the hardest things… Continue reading You Do Not Have To Take The Abuse
Three years. It truly feels unfathomable. It feels like forever ago I couldn't and wouldn't dare to imagine facing my life without the crutch of a substance. For the longest time I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me--why I felt like I was so unbelievably broken. I would observe the lives of others… Continue reading Thank you for 3 years sober!
The reason I write, create, and share my pain and my journey so candidly is because I am too familiar with the feeling of loneliness and believing that I am completely misunderstood. I spent so much of my life attempting to hide my pain through substances. Pain is what introduced to alcohol. That warm, burning… Continue reading What You Don’t See
I'm writing this to you because I think you should know something. It's something I've always wanted to tell you so here it goes. My search for companionship has never been for cheap or casual connections. I've always craved true love. I've always set out to give and receive the greatest love. As you know, I am very open… Continue reading An open letter to all the men who have left me:
If I've learned anything in this life, it's that you have to get in enough pain to change. That's what happened to me two years ago today. I spent the majority of my existence feeling like something was missing. Something was always off with me. I never felt good enough and I was always reaching… Continue reading I Got a Good Start on Starting Over
I get asked quite often if it's hard to stay sober. I hardly ever respond by saying "yes". Once I made the decision to completely cut substance out of my life, the physical state of sobriety has not been the most challenging part of the change. It was all the damage left behind and I… Continue reading Just because I’m clean, doesn’t mean I don’t miss it.
Last night I was driving home from a long day and my mind was wondering. I traveled back to a time where misery filled my being and hope was no where to be found. I started thinking about how much my life has changed since I got sober and my body became light and I… Continue reading The Pain Before the Bottom
I suppose you could say that I've reached the calm after the storm. In a lot of ways it's relieving but in other ways it's devastating. It's relieving because the chaos has subsided and my life is balanced and manageable again. It's heart breaking because that means it's over. The battle is done and the… Continue reading Life After Love
I would first like to like to acknowledge that today is the one year mark of my Twenty One and Sober blog. I originally started writing this blog for myself--to keep record of my journey as a young recovering alcoholic but then you all started reading. I never imagined that as a result of sharing my… Continue reading One Year Blog Anniversary!